Friday, July 25, 2014

I discovered something tonight 
Standing half naked and alone in my kitchen,
I like girls with cores of steel
Wrapped in softness you can't touch,
Girls who are cynical and tired
Holding out limping feminitiy and hope.
I like girls whose bases weather through
And whose voices are deceptively fragile
And who will not shut up, just switch methods
These girls whose hooks unto me
Don't break, just blend into 
Another part of this circle.

Babe you gonna mock me,
I never get what I want.
It ain't gonna wound me
I've already stiched it up. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

I have become a marshland
Soft and plunging,
Folding underfoot.
I was once a rich meadow
But you dammed me,
Building your dens-
They call it bio diverse
A rich environment
Where before you saw only
A slightly arid stretch 
And a stream ran through it.
You laud the habitat you built but
Now I can only give out 
and never recieve.
Did you not see the depths
And breadths of my weavings
Were the homes built in me invisible 
when they were not of your own hands?
The only breaths of life with meaning
It seems,
Are the ones that flourish as you thrive.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

(I'm not even the sort of
Girl you set up with someone
For fear I'll tip and overflow
Drowning an unsuspecting innocent
Under the song of my madness.)

Your balance isn't the only thing
Unstable in these seas. 
The siren's call is deadly,
So we block the sound from our ears.
No amount of fury unseals this wax.

Monday, July 7, 2014

I shiver at the wind
Because I don't know your touch-
Would you graze me so soft
That pain echos after,
The down of it setting
My nerves into panic 
Like a stiff breeze
On a bad day?
Or would you press so hard
I ripple and flush,
Purple and then green,
The ooze of contentment 
Grounding me to wherever 
You feet have taken us?

Driven mad by feather pains
And driven deep under your weight,
And yet untouched, unlonged 
Un brushed by consideration,
I lock away what I cannot bleed
Out unto a page.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Things I will not have:

Laying at your feet
Purring when you remember
That I am here and
Stroke my hair.

Dropping to my knees
At the sound of your round voice
Asking me to wait
A minute

As I watch you go
From her to a closer you
Rounding down the steel
In your core.

Tracing the curve of
Your waist in eyes and kisses
And worshipful touch
Thrumming in.

Washing your hair and 
Scrubbing free the dead skin cells
Under warm cloth or
With my nails.

Laying down clean and 
Protected by the smell of
Your damp hair on my 
Dry pillow.

Waking up clinging
To the hallow your hip made,
Smell sticking to sheets
Empty, warm.

(I know I wept but
My pillow is dry and the
Salt wet under yours
When I search.)

Laying hands grasped as
I sob out memories drug
Out of my own depths
Beside you.

Feeding you breakfast
Well past noon because who let
The either of us 
Be adults?

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tear this unaimed
Longing out of my chest
And make my heart as practical
As pessimism makes the mind.
L ife may teach soul crushing truths
But it doesn't mean I want a pulped heart.